Let’s get started with an admission: I am not a graduate of Morse High School, although my children are.

I am “from away,” but have lived here going on 40 years, during which time I’ve been a supporter of various high school activities. Including (full disclosure) winning $1,000 in a raffle back in 2004 to raise money for the school’s jazz program. Seriously folks, it’s all been positive. And I wouldn’t be wasting your time, but as a writer that is what I do.

Okay, now you get the picture. The Bath High School Alumni Association is well organized and one of the most active in the world. Its members take great pride in Morse and in the dedication and support of the school’s alumni.

All of which works well for those warmed by the sentimental memories of their high school years. There were some students who could have stepped right out of the Archie comic books. They were the ones who had their blue jeans rolled up just right, their socks rolled down to the approved level. For them, the best years of their lives were lived in the confines of high school, including Morse. And they walked the halls as if they knew it.

But what about the others? Those for whom the morning bell felt like a knife through the absolute heart of being, for whom getting through the day required constantly keeping the eyes on the floor and the shoulders hunched. For them high school was a daily, stomach-clutching trial with an imagined jury of peers releasing you only after the final bell of the day. Only to look forward to tomorrow and another day in Hell.

Yes, I’ve taken the liberty of dividing the Morse alumni into two groups. And here’s an idea that will attract both groups: Transform the old school into condos. It would be like a dream come true for those whose lives have never been as good since, AND for those in the “living Hell” group, it would provide a chance to remake the past, to undo the hurt and misunderstanding. Because high school is never over.

For the former group, the “happy time” side, here’s a chance of ending your days arriving full circle into the milieu you so loved as a happy student. You might think to yourself, “If this ain’t heaven, I don’t know what is.”

For the other group, here’s a chance to undo all those moments when you wished you were dead rather than having to walk into a classroom already full of your peers waiting to embarrass you.

And the prom? Here’s a chance to ask the girl you had a crush on back in your sophomore year but never said a thing to then. Now as a grownup living in the Morse High School Home for Retired Classmates (or something to that effect), you can invite her to your condo overlooking “the Pit.” Using your full-service kitchen you can make a nice plate of ramen, a bit of echinacea tea and who knows, the possibilities are endless.

Here are some details of what to expect at the High School Home For Retired Classmates:

• Bells will ring every hour so residents will know when their next meal is coming.

• A special detention room will be offered for those needing some peace and quiet while waiting for their next meal.

• There will be no mirrors in the building so residents need not fear running into a reflection of some old person
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• A designated smoking area will be located near the free oxygen bar.

• Every resident gets a copy of their year’s Clipper with every page full of friendly notes from their fellow students.

• Each resident receives a free permanent hall pass.

So there it is, the chance to live high school all over again. What is there to lose? I’m waiting for a Request for Proposal.